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    monthly logs

    this is where i document anything related to creating art, whether it's something that inspired me, a new process i'm trying, or an area i'm struggling with!

    18/12/23 - The past two months

    It's been a while since my last update! I could feel the desire to update turning into more of a task that loomed over me and became more overwhelming as time passed, so this is my attempt at breaking that spell and getting back into the habit of updating here!

    In rough order, this is what I've been up to since my last update:

    • More Gale and Baldur's Gate 3 fanart, still obsessed with the wizard.
    • Wrote some fanfics for the first time in years... it was fun but challenging!
    • Revisited some old OCs from my highschool days and revamped them.
    • Wrote a comic outline for them and started writing a script too!
    • Realised I need to create a portfolio again due to some developments at work
    • Comic project on hold as I focus my after work hours on portfolio development - I voicechat with my friend regularly for accountability as we work on our portfolios! (Starting with a design project focused on the same characters though.)
    • Last month the Gale and BG3 obsession waned a bit, probably bc my PC broke and I couldn't play. It got repaired and now that I can play again, the obsession is back in full force.

    My 2023 social media hiatus is coming to a close, and to be honest, I'm really excited about returning. I think this break was really valuable for me - it made me realise many of the work I was making was purely for validation, since I stopped drawing it almost as soon as I started my break. But it's helped me embrace new interests! These are the main things I learned:

    • I really like drawing NSFW and erotic art. So much of my aversion towards it was based in fear of what others would think.
    • My tastes have evolved since I started my fanart account when I was in university. Going forwards, I don't want to be known as a fandom artist. I just want to make the work that resonates with me, regardless of if it's fandom or original.
    • I still have the capacity to be stupidly passionate about things!! I just need to be honest with what I like, and open to change and new experiences. It can't be forced, but it can be encouraged.
    • I still enjoy the creative process of making art without external input, but I find true value and fulfilment in sharing my work with others. To me, art is communication.

    I think that last point was most important for me to realise! My joy in creating art has never existed purely in a vaccuum, though some work comes closer than others. Communicating ideas with others is what drives me to create and hone my skill. I think the wires of posting art to exchange ideas vs for validation get crossed SO easily. It's something I think I'll continue to struggle with, so I want to keep taking hiatuses like this every few months to help me recalibrate and be honest with myself (maybe just for a month rather than a full year though!)

    There's more I want to say, now that I've started typing, but this update is starting to get really long!! These are the things I'd like to touch on in the next updates:

    • My OCs and how I ended up caring about them again
    • Goals for next year
    • Personal social media manifesto - returning to posting on social media and a note to myself on how I want to be/how I want to use socmed
    • Portfolio development... why and how

    The gallery and media logs are out of date which stresses me out, but it's ok! For now I'll just focus on updating my thoughts here as I think of a way to reorganise the gallery while keeping it easy to update. As for the media log.. well I guess there can be a blank section of time haha. If you made it this far, thanks for reading and I hope you're doing well!